The Retirement Newsletter: Looking after your mental health in retirement
Issue Number: 195 (48) — Keeping an eye on the little things
Welcome
Last week, I wrote about looking after your physical health in retirement; this week, it’s mental health.
Mental Health
I am not a trained health professional, and I have based the following on my experiences and the limited training I have received over the years to support students.
When I was younger, mental health was something that didn’t figure in my life. Yes, there were a few relatives that had — and the phrase used was — “problems with their nerves”, but on the whole, mental health wasn’t discussed. We certainly had no classes on the subject at school.
My first encounter with mental health issues was at university, when two or three people had what were termed “episodes”. Some “episodes” were drug-induced, some not. However, mental health still wasn’t something that was openly discussed.
I first became aware of how many people suffered from mental health issues when I transitioned from being a research scientist with no contact with students to a university lecturer. I can remember being shocked at the number of students (including my tutees) that I encountered with severe mental health issues. It was at that point that I decided to get as much training (and it was a minimal amount of training) as I could on how to support my students with mental health issues.
So, I am now retired, and my interest in mental health has switched to retirees. What are the issues we face, and what can we do to look after our mental health?
I have discussed some of these matters before — see Mental Health and Retirement — but thought now was a good time to revisit them.
Mental health in retirement
Retirement is great, and after nearly a year, I am still enjoying it as much as I did on the first day — possibly more. But retirement does bring some mental health challenges, and some common issues include:
1. Loss of identity and purpose
I have touched on this in several newsletters, as it was one of the main reasons I held off on retiring. I was worried about losing my identity and purpose.
I was worried that my identity was so wrapped up in my career that I would find nothing left of me when I retired. I feared I would miss the responsibilities and feel aimless or unproductive.
These fears couldn’t be further from the truth. In retirement, I feel I have found my true role in life. I am a professional retiree, and I love it. I think my identity has been strengthened and become better defined, and I now have more purpose in life than ever before.
2. Depression and loneliness
Depression and loneliness often go hand in hand and are a problem in retirement.
When we retire, social interactions typically decrease as we no longer spend time mixing with people at work. If family and friends are not nearby or are still busy with their working lives, we can experience isolation, which can lead to depression.
Loneliness can be very difficult for some people to cope with, particularly if you crave the company and attention of others. It may not be such an issue if you are comfortable in your own company.
So, watch out for loneliness, and take steps (see below for some suggestions) to combat it.
3. Anxiety and stress
There is a lot to be anxious about in retirement. Uncertainty about our financial stability and health concerns can make us anxious, and thinking about how to fill our time can add to our levels of anxiety. Changes in our daily routines can be stressful, particularly if thrive on structure.
4. Cognitive decline
This one worries me the most. This is the issue that causes me the most stress and anxiety — cognitive decline.
The brain is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, you lose it.
At work, I was constantly exposed to mental stimulation, which kept my brain engaged. I read about new science, wrote lectures and reports, dealt with student issues, and taught. At times, this stimulation was too much.
When I retired, I was determined to keep my life full of challenges and learning opportunities. I would not stagnate and decline.
5. Boredom and restlessness
I think boredom is a key mental health marker in retirement. If you are bored, then there is something wrong, and it could be an indicator of depression or a warning sign of mental decline.
Feelings of low self-esteem are linked to boredom, particularly for those of us who were highly active in our careers.
6. Health anxiety
I think this is an anxiety which most retirees have. I know I do, and I wrote about the importance of looking after our physical health in last week’s newsletter.
Aging brings more health concerns, and some retirees become overly preoccupied with their well-being. I am not saying that is a bad thing, but we need to strike a balance, particularly if our obsession with physical health is impacting our mental health.
7. Relationship struggles
Suddenly, we are not going to work every day (although that did stop in the early days of COVID-19), and we are at home, possibly getting under our partner’s feet.
Spending more time at home can change the dynamics of our relationships with partners and family, sometimes leading to conflicts. This became evident to many people during the COVID-19 lockdowns.
It can be a challenge.
OK, so that’s seven mental health issues in retirement that I have encountered and/or read about, but I am sure there are more. Is there anything I have missed? Please let me know in the comments.
So, what can we do to tackle the above?
Looking after our mental health
Taking care of our mental health in retirement is just as important as looking after our physical health. Here are some things I have tried to look after my mental health:
1. A new sense of purpose
This is key, particularly if you have focused heavily on your career for the last 40 years. We need to find a new purpose; we need to be motivated and mentally stimulated.
I have found a new purpose through engaging with meaningful activities such as hobbies, volunteering, and feeding my natural curiosity. I am still a scientist, and I keep asking questions. Why does that work? How do I solve X? And that helps give me a new sense of purpose.
As part of this process, I set goals (see Making plans and Taking on too much) to help maintain a sense of purpose and drive. I also structure my time.
Some of my retired friends have gained “purpose” by taking on paid part-time work, which has the bonus of bringing in some extra money. However, I can’t see myself doing that at the moment.
2. Maintain social connections
This is important for both physical and mental health.
I stay in touch with my friends through regular calls, visits, video chats and online chat. Plus, with some friends, I have a daily online check-in. One of these check-ins, a “morning” via a chat program, and I have been doing a daily “morning” with one of my friends for over 25 years. Others online “mornings” started with friends during the first COVID-19 lockdown.
However, it doesn’t have to be online — I do make an effort to meet with friends in person.
No friends? Joining local social groups — e.g., local clubs, walking groups, or community centres — or volunteering is a great way to meet new people.
Some argue that getting a pet can help, as pets provide companionship, structure, and a sense of responsibility. If it’s a dog, it can also be a talking point with people when you take it out for a walk.
3. Keeping my mind active
I have already touched upon this in number 1 above, but I’ll cover it again as I think it is key to supporting mental health and well-being.
We can keep our brain active through:
Lifelong Learning — Take online courses, join a book club, or attend lectures.
Puzzles and Games — Crossword puzzles, chess, Sudoku, or brain-training apps (I think there is little evidence that such apps work) help keep our mind sharp.
Stay Curious — This is a great one. Explore new interests, whether it’s history, technology, science or music.
For me, lifelong learning and staying curious are the things that work.
4. Physical health
I touched on this in Looking after your physical health in retirement.
Our mental and physical health are linked, so what is good for our physical health is often good for our mental health.
Regular exercise (walking, yoga, swimming, light strength training, etc.) can boost our mood and cognitive function. We should also include a healthy, balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and healthy fats that support brain health. Getting enough sleep with a consistent sleep routine can help improve mental clarity and emotional well-being.
5. Stress and emotions
Avoiding and dealing with stress and emotions is something else we should also consider.
Practicing mindfulness and planning periods of relaxation (e.g., meditation, deep breathing, or spending time in nature) can reduce anxiety.
Some people find keeping a journal helps. I have had one running since the first COVID-19 lockdown (21 March 2022, to be precise). I haven’t missed a day; it has over 2,800 entries (some days have multiple entries). I find spending 10 minutes at the end of the day just thinking about what I have done and what has been going on is very beneficial.
A bonus with journalling, and one that I wasn’t expecting, is looking back at past entries. The program I use has an ‘on this day’ function, so I can easily look back across the years. I find it useful to see how things have progressed, and it also brings back happy memories. I tend to do the ‘look back’ over breakfast.
6. Having a daily routine
Having a routine is good because it allows us to plan our days so we don’t feel overwhelmed. It also allows us to balance our activities and periods of rest and means we can prioritise fun.
I have written more about this in:
7. Embrace change with a positive mindset
As we age, we may fear change and no longer embrace it. However, staying adaptable and celebrating small wins can be key.
We need to develop a positive mindset about change. Not all change is bad.
8. Eating well
Eating well can support mental and physical health. There is growing evidence of connections between our natural gut microbiome (the microorganisms (bacteria, viruses, and fungi) that live in our gut) and mental and physical health. So, a healthy diet is good for our physical and mental health.
This newsletter
Writing this newsletter each week ticks several of the boxes above. It gives me purpose (point 1 above), keeps my mind active (point 3), and, while it sometimes causes some stress (point 5), it also helps as it is a form of journaling (point 5). It also gives me some routine (point 6).
The above are some of the strategies I have read about and used to help with my mental health. I am sure there are more. Is there anything I have missed? Please let me know in the comments.
A final point
Please remember, if you are having mental health issues, seek support. Talking to a therapist or joining a support group can be beneficial.
Useful links
Some useful UK mental health links:
Samaritans phone 116 123 — https://www.samaritans.org
No Panic (anxiety) 0300 772 9844 — http://www.nopanic.org.uk/
Non-Emergency NHS Helpline: 111 — https://www.nhs.uk
Mind — Side by Side — https://sidebyside.mind.org.uk
Some Mental Health Apps you might like to try:
SAM App — Anxiety Management — https://mindgarden-tech.co.uk/
Smiling Mind — Mindfulness App — https://www.smilingmind.com.au/smiling-mind-app
General Health Websites:
National Health Service, UK — https://www.nhs.uk/
National Institute of Heath, USA — https://www.nih.gov/
Next week
Next week — getting old — is seventy the new sixty?
Thanks
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Until next time,
Nick
PS: If you would like to contribute something to the newsletter — a story, advice, or anything else — please get in touch.
Totally aligned with you on this one, Nick! Thanks for keeping the conversation active on this topic!