The Retirement Newsletter: Taking on too much
Issue Number: 193 (46) — Where does the time go?
Welcome
Welcome to issue 193 (46) – taking on too much.
Time is an interesting problem in retirement – where does it go?
Before I retired, I was very busy with my work. I was putting in 8 to 10-hour days, sometimes six days a week, and when I was working, I was busy. No long tea breaks. No long lunch breaks. It was full on from when I started in the morning until I finished in the evening. And when I was working, I envied those who had retired and had "free time". I was envious because they were no longer tied to the working day. They had the freedom to choose how they spent their time.
However, one thing confused me. One thing bothered me.
How come all the retired folk I spoke to would say they were extremely busy and couldn’t understand how they used to hold down a full-time job?
How were they so busy? Why were they so busy?
I have now been retired for 10 months, and I can confirm that when you retire, something weird happens to time. It flies by and your days soon fill up.
Within a few weeks of being retired, I found myself with days so full of things to do that I wondered how I used to hold down a full-time job. I had arrived at the retirement/time nexus.
So, how do the days fill up? And is this a problem?
I have two theories about how our days fill up.
One is that we become slower at doing everyday tasks in retirement. We take our time. We do things right. So, tasks take longer naturally because we do not have the time pressure to get on with our “work” — our day job. The task expands to fill the time.
My second theory is that we take on too much. That is, we say yes to too many things. But is saying yes a problem?
Retirement and Time
One of the great mysteries of retirement is that while it seems like there will be endless free time before we retire, our time quickly fills up once we retire.
When working, our time was structured — our job dictated our schedule, and everything else had to fit around it. In retirement, we finally have the freedom to do everything we put off for years: hobbies, home projects, socialising, volunteering, travelling, and enjoying life at our own pace. Or so we hope. So, we dream.
Another factor, and we have all probably experienced this in our working lives, is that the time it takes to complete tasks expands to fill the available time. How many two-hour meetings have we sat through that could have been completed in an hour if the time initially allocated for the meeting had been an hour? In my case, countless meetings.
We had to squeeze errands and chores into evenings or weekends when working. Now, they take as long as they take, and there’s no rush — until suddenly, the day is gone, and the tasks are not completed or even started.
Plus, retirement brings new opportunities and interests. We start new ventures, get more involved in our community, or even find ourselves busier than ever with family commitments. "Oh, granddad is now retired; he can look after the kids for the morning,” we think — no, he can’t; I’m busy! But he ends up doing it anyway.
Hence, we have unexpectedly packed days and not enough time to relax.
I believe full retirement days are a good sign — they mean we are engaged, active, and making the most of our time. However, they might become an issue if we start feeling overwhelmed and stressed and have no time for ourselves.
Like with most things in life, the key here is balance. If we enjoy what fills our days, then great. But if we feel like we are always rushing or never get time to relax, it might be worth reassessing our commitments. Retirement should be about doing what makes us happy, whether staying busy or taking it slow.
Managing our time
Managing our time in retirement is all about balance — staying active and engaged without feeling overwhelmed. Here are some strategies I have tried to help me balance and enjoy my days without stress:
1. Prioritise what matters
I try to identify the activities that bring me the most joy and fulfilment and focus on what adds value to my life, whether it’s hobbies, family, socialising, or travel. However, there is a counterargument that I should finish the things I would rather not do first so that I can enjoy my fun activities without the nagging “I need to do X.” Again, it is about balance.
One way I have prioritised what matters is by auditing my time. I look at what I am doing, what I must do, and how long it takes. I then search for patterns and ask: What’s taking up most of my time? What feels unnecessary or draining? What can I group together? I then explore how I can streamline the processes of tasks I would rather not do so as to have more time for fun things.
2. Having a loose routine
While I am no longer on a strict work schedule, having a basic routine helps structure my days. I try to set aside time for important activities but leave room for spontaneity and relaxation. If an unplanned “priority that matters” pops up, I take it. For example, I have my day planned and get an unexpected call from a friend who is in town and wants to meet for lunch. I change my plans, and go for lunch.
I try to embrace spontaneity. Instead of scheduling every part of my day, I leave gaps for unplanned fun or relaxation. Some of the best moments happen when I don’t have an agenda.
Also, if I feel like not doing something, I put it off until I am in the mood to tackle it. That is, I remain flexible. However, I do have to watch out for procrastination!
3. Learn to say no
Oh, this is a tough one for me.
I read a self-help book years ago, and it said that if you don’t know whether to say yes or no to a request, it is often better to say yes, as it keeps the opportunity open. That is, it is easier to change a yes to a no than a no to a yes. Looking back, I think that was terrible advice. (What do you think? Please let me know in the comments below.)
Getting caught up in commitments, such as helping others or taking on too many projects, is easy. If something feels like an obligation rather than a joy, I try to drop it. Life is too short not to do the things you enjoy.
I find that it is essential to have set boundaries. If I am asked for help or my time, I have now accepted that it is OK to say no. But if I don’t want to say yes or no, I will go with “Let me think about that and get back to you” or “Can I get back to you when I have checked what else I have on?”. (To be honest, using either of those phrases is usually a good indicator that I should say no.)
4. Use a calendar
A habit from work and something I still do.
I keep a calendar for appointments and social events but not for “chores” and other commitments such as projects and household maintenance. Maybe I should? I have a “calendar of chores” in my head, but that is not a good way to manage my time effectively.
5. Set daily and weekly goals
Another habit from my workdays and this links in with number two above.
I try to set small, achievable goals for each day. This keeps me motivated without making me feel pressured. The goals are usually a breakdown of the larger goal for the week. This approach almost works for me, but not quite. Tasks are still expanding to fill the available time.
As I said in number one above, I look for ways to streamline tasks in my daily and weekly goal planning. For example, can I batch errands, chores, or activities together? Why make two trips to the shops when, with planning, I can cover it in one?
6. Have downtime
I have to do this and I try not to fill every moment of my day. I engineer in time for rest, reflection, and enjoying the day. My downtime may be going for a short walk, chatting with a friend online or in person, reading, listening to music or vegging out in front of the TV. My unstructured time can be the best part of my retirement.
“Empty” time is important. If you are having trouble scheduling downtime, treat it like an appointment and schedule it in your calendar.
Success?
I am not as successful as I would like in managing my time. I try, but it isn’t easy. I’m improving at saying no and creating “me time”, but it is a struggle. There is work to be done.
How is it going for you? Are you successfully managing your time in retirement? Do you have any tips that might help me manage my time better? Please let me know in the comments.
This week in the Retirement Hustle
This week in The Retirement Side Hustle, my January 2025 financials.
In the video, I examine my side hustle expenses and earnings. I also reveal my income during the first month of monetising one of my YouTube Channels, Nick’s Wanderings.
The Retirement Side Hustle Newsletter is subscription-based. However, each video includes a free minute or so to confirm its content, and if you subscribe for free, you get full access to one edition.
Next week
Next week, in issue 194 (47), I look at physical health in retirement.
Thanks
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Until next time,
Nick
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Nick, I totally agree that retirement days are full. I'm six plus years into retirement. I still keep a calendar and have to say "no." Love this post!
Interesting, Nick. I experienced the polar opposite in the first 10 months of retirement. Too much time and not enough to do.