The Retirement Newsletter: Are you afraid of retiring?

Issue Number: 210 (63) — It can be a big step

Photo by Author — a meadow scene on a sunny day

Welcome

Welcome to issue 210 (63) — Are you afraid to retire?

A lot of what I am writing about this week, I have touched on before, but I thought this would be a good time, now that I have retired, to revisit the question: Are you afraid of retiring?

When I look back at my past newsletters:

• Issue Number: 195 (48) — Looking after your mental health in retirement

• Issue Number: 179 (32) — Does retiring early take courage?

• Issue Number: 161 (14) — Dealing with impostor syndrome in retirement

• Issue Number: -14 — Am I getting retirement anxiety?

I can see a pattern of concerns about retiring, such as:

• Loss of identity and purpose

• Depression and loneliness

• Anxiety and stress

• Cognitive decline

• Boredom and restlessness

• Relationship struggles

I would say that the above could be described as ‘doubts and uncertainties’.

And of course, the big one, that everyone worries about when they retire:

• Money

Financial concerns are always the big one, and the one that most people cite as a reason they have not retired.

So, how are things going?

Doubts and Uncertainties

I am not a mental health professional, and I am basing the following on my observations and reading about the subject of mental health in retirement — this is not mental health advice

We all have doubts and uncertainties. After all, that is what life is all about. We spend our time worrying about the future and second-guessing.

Another way of viewing these doubts and uncertainties is as anxiety. We are concerned about the future and fear what may happen.

I see anxiety as a necessary part of life and evolution. It is why we are here. We should expect to be anxious. Being anxious is normal.

Our ancestors, as they sat around the campfire, may have been worried (anxious) about what might be lurking in the nearby bush. If they weren’t, and something nasty lurked in the bush, they might get eaten and so not pass on their genes.

Our ancestors would have been anxious about the changing seasons and the weather. They would have planned for their future by planting crops and raising animals. They were investing in their future and trying to protect against what the future may bring.

There was, if you like, a selection pressure to be anxious (worried) about the future because if you weren’t concerned about that bush or the coming winter, then your chances of survival and passing on your genes were decreased.

We are, if you like, programmed to be worried and anxious. And while retirement is often portrayed as a golden era of rest, relaxation, and freedom, the step from employed to retired can be terrifying.

Taking the big step

If you’ve ever felt anxious about retirement, then you are not alone. It would take a very courageous person not to be afraid of the significant change from working to retirement. I know I was anxious about the change.

So, what was I worried about? And what did I try to do to cope with it? And was I successful?

1. Loss of Identity

This was a big one for me. My character and personality have been (and still are) closely tied to being a scientist and an educator. I was worried that when I retired, I would stop being a scientist and an educator. That is, I felt my self-worth was related to my job title and professional role. I was worried that leaving my career behind would feel like leaving behind ‘me’.

However, I have discovered that I am more than my job. I have explored roles beyond work: volunteering, travelling, and being a creator. I have also found that my job did not define me as a scientist and an educator, as I have continued to engage in scientific research and teaching in retirement. The only change is that I now do it online. I am still ‘me’, but a changing ‘me’.

If you are struggling with a loss of identity in retirement, or if it’s something about retirement that worries you, try writing a “new bio” for yourself that focuses on your values and passions, rather than your CV. Work on becoming the ‘new you’ — see Issue Number: 208 (61) Time to be you? — this will help alleviate your fears about losing your identity.

2. Fear of Financial Insecurity

Even with savings and a pension, there’s a lingering worry: Will it be enough? Managing money without a regular monthly income through work can be daunting due to the uncertainty. It is another thing to be anxious about.

Uncertainty breeds fear. A meeting with a financial advisor or a DIY review of your budget, pensions, and savings can boost confidence. Creating a retirement budget that includes both essential needs and discretionary wants can help.

I have found that budgeting has helped me (see Issue Number: 206 (59) — How did my budget pan out?), and I discovered that things were not as financially challenging as I thought they might be. If anything, my budget was overly cautious, and so far, I have not encountered the age-old problem of ‘too much month left at the end of the money’. Things are not as bad as I thought they would be. I would go as far as to say I was worried about a non-problem.

One issue I have experienced with money during retirement is the timing of my monthly pension payment. It is often a week or so earlier than when I was paid. Hence, on the first of each month, I experience a slight panic when I check my bank account, as it is always lower than I expect. I haven’t yet learnt that on the first of the month, I am only three weeks from my payday and not four.

3. Boredom or Lack of Purpose

Without work routines, meetings, and goals, some people worry that life will feel empty. Some worry retirement will be dull or directionless.

At the risk of sounding obnoxious, this was never a worry for me as I knew I had enough interests to fill my days. I knew that for years, work had been getting in the way of what I wanted to be doing.

If this is a worry, then some things you can consider:

• Volunteering

• Learning new skills

• Travelling

• Starting a small business or blog

• Pursuing hobbies more deeply

I have done, or am doing, all of the above, and my days are full of purpose; I have yet to experience boredom.

4. Social Isolation

Work often provides a built-in social circle. Retiring may mean fewer day-to-day interactions and a feeling of disconnection.

Again, this was something that never really worried me as I had a good group of friends outside work, and I am very happy in my own company.

If this is a concern, then don’t wait for social moments to happen. Schedule coffee catchups, join clubs, attend workshops, or take group classes. You may lose colleagues, but you can gain a new community.

This is one of those things where the more you put into it, the more you will get out of it. You need to take control and create opportunities for yourself.

5. Fear of Ageing and Mortality

Retirement marks a new phase of life — and for some, it’s a stark reminder that time is passing.

There is no easy answer to this, and it is something that I feel we must accept. However, there are things we can do to slow things down, such as remaining physically and mentally active, and engaged with our lives and with the lives of those around us.

How is it going?

Me? I am very happy with where I am and how things are progressing.

I do not view retirement as a full stop, but as a new chapter — one that I get to write.

I have come to view the anxiety and fear associated with retirement as natural, as it is a big change. But with planning, support, and curiosity, I have found freedom in the anxiety.

If you’re standing at the edge of retirement and feeling nervous, take a breath. The next step doesn’t have to be a leap — just a steady, thoughtful stride in a new direction.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below. Are you afraid to retire? Were you anxious about retiring? And if you were anxious, what did you do to cope with your anxieties?

I am not a mental health professional, and I am basing the following on my observations and reading about the subject of mental health in retirement — this is not mental health advice

Useful links

Some useful UK mental health links:

• Samaritans phone 116 123 — https://www.samaritans.org

• No Panic (anxiety) 0300 772 9844 — http://www.nopanic.org.uk/

• Non-Emergency NHS Helpline: 111 — https://www.nhs.uk

• Mind — Side by Side — https://sidebyside.mind.org.uk

Some Mental Health Apps you might like to try:

• SAM App — Anxiety Management — https://mindgarden-tech.co.uk/

• Smiling Mind — Mindfulness App — https://www.smilingmind.com.au/smiling-mind-app

General Health Websites:

• National Health Service, UK — https://www.nhs.uk/

• National Institute of Health, USA — https://www.nih.gov/

Next week

Next week in issue 211 (64), I will continue to explore how we change when we retire and ask if we should grow old gracefully.

Thanks

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Until next time,

Nick

PS: If you would like to contribute something to the newsletter — a story, advice, or anything else — please get in touch.

Please note: I am not a mental health professional, and I am basing the following on my observations and reading about the subject of mental health in retirement — this is not mental health advice.