The Retirement Newsletter: Have I found my retirement happy place?
Issue Number: 209 (62) — What makes us happy?
Welcome
Welcome to issue 209 (62) — Have I found my retirement happy place?
It’s an interesting question, and part of the answer comes down to what I was writing about last week — Is retirement the time when we can be ourselves? — because until we know who we are, we can’t be sure we have found our ‘happy place’.
What is a “Happy Place”?
What do I mean when I say ‘happy place’?
Well, ‘place’ suggests a location, but that is not what I mean.
What I am talking about (well, writing about) is a state of being — a state of mind. It’s the feeling of contentment we experience when our body and mind are relaxed. It’s when we think, “Ah, yes — this is good”. It’s where time slows down just enough for us to feel grounded and connected to the world. It’s where we don’t have to perform, explain, or hustle. We are just us. We are internally quiet.
A ‘happy place’ could be viewed as a sort of psychological anchor. A ‘happy place’ helps us reduce stress by creating a predictable pocket of calm. It helps us boost our mood by releasing dopamine in response to pleasure or achievement. That is, it helps us build resilience by giving us a positive fallback when life feels uncertain. Essentially, as we discover who we truly are, a ‘happy place’ offers an identity when our old self fades away. A ’happy place’ can help define us. But, as we change, so might our ‘happy place’. What once worked for us may no longer fit our needs as we emerge as our true selves in retirement and our values evolve.
So, what is a ‘happy place’? Well, it can be many things, it might be:
A hobby or activity such as painting, writing, volunteering, or walking the dog. It can be creative, but doesn't have to be.
A literal place like our garden, a local café or pub, or a quiet woodland path.
A moment in the day, such as reading the paper with coffee, sunset strolls, cooking for the family
Or even a relationship or sense of belonging — being with grandchildren, book clubs, close friends, online communities.
The key is: our ‘happy place’ restores us. It makes us feel right.
Have I Found My Retirement Happy Place?
Now, there’s a question.
Retirement, in my opinion, is fantastic — but for some, it can be unsettling. As we step away from the structure, status, deadlines, and, perhaps even, purpose of our working lives, we find that the changes can stir up anxiety, restlessness, and depression. Therefore, finding our ‘happy place’ can be considered a vital mental health essential in retirement. Not a luxury. A necessity. We need to have a ‘happy place’ where we can go when we are struggling to cope with the inevitable changes that come with retirement.
I don’t think I have found my ‘happy place’. I have been lucky; I have found ‘happy places’.
If I look at the list of potential ‘happy places’ I gave above:
A hobby or activity
A literal place
A moment in the day
A relationship
I can identify several ‘happy places’ that fit into each category:
A hobby or activity — I have many. As a hobby, I have my boat, the Grey Wagtail, and time spent onboard is always a happy experience. Additionally, working on videos and this newsletter is a creative and rewarding experience, and is a ‘happy place’ for me. I also have my walking. An activity that always lifts my spirits. Plus, spending time with friends’ dogs, I would count as a ‘happy place’.
A literal place — I have many. There is a bench by a nearby river that I always gravitate towards. There is also a local beech wood that has a magical effect on my mood and spirit (see the photo at the start of this newsletter). But it’s not always one place. Sometimes it shifts with the seasons. It can even change with the weather.
A moment in the day — This is a ‘happy place’ I don’t have. There is not a particular moment of the day that I would describe as a ‘happy place’ apart from the moment in the day when I transition from day-to-day activities to being in a ‘happy place’. I often long for that moment of transition, and that transition makes me happy.
A relationship — Time spent drinking tea with friends, chatting, and walking — can frequently transport me to a ‘happy place’. Quality time with good friends is never wasted.
The shifting, changeable nature of my ‘happy places’ can make them elusive, but knowing what to look for and recognising it when I feel it is the key. Sometimes, a ‘happy place’ can just appear before me. Even if only for a while. But when it does, I grab it.
Over to You
So, have you found your retirement ‘happy place’?
What works for you?
What does it look like?
Where do you feel most at ease, most like yourself or the self you want to be?
Please let me know in the comments.
And if you haven’t found your ‘happy place’, that’s okay. It’s not a race. Sometimes you stumble upon it when you stop looking. Other times, it emerges when you try something new.
The question isn’t whether you’ve ticked it off a list. The question is whether you’re allowing yourself the time and space needed to find it.
If you haven’t found it, don’t give up; have fun hunting. And good luck with your hunt.
If you have found it, enjoy!
Next week
Next week, in issue number 201 (63), I look at why people are hesitant to retire. Specifically, I will be looking at what worried me about retiring, how I tackled my worries and how things have turned out.
Thanks
Thank you for taking the time to read this newsletter. Please don't hesitate to share it with your friends or on social media using the buttons below.
If you’d like to show your appreciation for the newsletter, why not buy me a cup of tea?
Until next time,
Nick
PS: If you would like to contribute something to the newsletter — a story, advice, or anything else — please get in touch.